9 days / 10 pounds – we’ll see about that!

July 31, 2016 | Laura Schoch | Featured

cleanse

This little package – o – grossness arrived today as I am set to start a 9-day cleanse on Monday! Everyone says “oh you will feel so good after you finish.” I feel great now, I eat whatever I want, drink like a fish, sleep it off and repeat.  Let me be clear, I’m not doing this to “feel better” I’m doing this to get rid of the flab that has developed around my mid section from all of the things that truly make me “feel better”.

Inside these exciting containers are what I will be surviving on for the next 9 days and let me tell you they sound delicious.

  1. A powder that magically turns into a yummy “shake” by simply adding water AND ice. It’s a miracle!
  2. A jar full of “snacks” – my favorite snacks come in a bag and are called chips.
  3. Another powder thing called “cleanse for life” and it’s berry flavored but I will be cleansed “for life” so down the hatch with the berry goodness.
  4. A natural accelerator which are some pills – I’m thinking a take all of them day one and accelerate this cleanse down to a day or two.

First problem I see with this. No instructions – very annoying! Now I have to go download them from someplace. STRIKE ONE!

To follow my 9 days in hell – I’ll be posting updates on Instagram – FOLLOW ME @laurastyleofficial

Cheers

Laura

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I’M SIMPLE

July 8, 2016 | Laura Schoch | Featured

simple

SIMPLY  STYLISH….This is how I am rolling these days.  A few things OLD, one thing NEW, NOTHING borrowed (because I’m 50 and I don’t borrow shit from people.  Girls, really?) and my nails always BLUE.

When you go simple, you can get ready in a flash ’cause it’s so easy.  I love it when people ask me “what are you wearing tonight?” Um, It’s 8 am – I will know what I’m wearing about 3 minutes before I am walking out the door.  Side bar and HUGE pet peeve… When someone asks you what you are wearing and you say… “probably jeans” and then you decide to wear a dress and you show up and they spend the rest of the night nagging the shit out of you… “you said you were wearing jeans”, “I feel so under dressed”.  BITCH, I CHANGED MY MIND!

 

 

My tips for going SIMPLE:
1. You can NEVER have enough black and white tops.  EVER!
Do not be that person who finds a kick ass white blouse and doesn’t buy it “because I already have a white blouse”  WHAT?  So instead you buy some ugly AF print thing that you never wear “BECAUSE IT WAS ON SALE” (#anotherpetpeeve) And a shout out to those who say “I can’t wear black” in a super whiny voice – HAHAHA – you have no idea what you are talking about!

2. If you love a denim brand – STICK WITH IT!
Why in the hell would you torture yourself with trying on 100’s of pairs of jeans when you know for a fact that your favorite brands are X and X.  Just get another pair- you can even buy them online and you know they will fit- DUH! My favorites are FRAME and 7 FOR ALL MANKIND – fyi!

3. I LOVE DRESSES.
What could be easier than a dress?  It’s one thing and it matches .  Just whip it on, grab a jean jacket as a topper and a necklace and off you go!

4. Have a STATEMENT item.
People who have GREAT accessories get all the oooh’s and ahhh’s so put your money there.  I love hats, vintage anything , a unique bag, kick ass jewelry and anything furry or leather!   Things that DO NOT COUNT as statement pieces… name brand bags – your PRADA bag – useful not interesting.  A print scarf – keeps your neck warm – that’s it.  TIFFANY jewelry that everyone else has – nope!

5. PURGE and AVOID SALES.
Keep your closet cleaned of items that you don’t wear- just get rid of them- it will be okay- let it go!  And now for my annual SIDEWALK SALE WARNING…  My rule: Do not buy anything that you would not pay full price for.  You need to love it that much.  It should be like this…” OMG – I love this jacket.  I can’t believe it’s on sale- what a bonus”.  It should NOT be like this… “HMMM would I wear this?  I hate red but this is kind of a good red right?  Wouldn’t I wear this to um maybe a holiday party or on Valentine’s Day? I mean geez it WAS $200 and now it’s only $ 50 – that’s a great deal for such an… um… interesting looking top- right? Maybe I’ll ask the random people around me what they think.” Walk away and go get some free popcorn at the bank!

Check out my other pages for simple summer ideas…
LS Eats – simple watermelon salad
LS Beauty – simple summer makeup
LS Designs– simple chokers

Cheers!

Laura

In my photo:
Necklace- LS Designs- Kick ass huh?
White Pants – Hard Tail – at Londo Mondo Winnetka (Love that shop!)
Black Slip Top – Aritzia – I have 5 black and 5 white
Buckle Bracelet – Vintage
Bag – Meghan – talk about a statement! Oh, and it’s 10 years old

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DEAR GOLF… I HATE YOU!

June 17, 2016 | Laura Schoch | Featured

It’s the U.S. Open weekend – so fun to watch and also, to nap to.  I love the quiet voices in the background as I snooze away on the sofa!  That said regarding my golf game…JASON DAY – I feel your pain!

I’m really starting to get annoyed!  I’m really trying.  I’m taking lessons (big waste of money) and I’m practicing ALOT (big waste of time).  Yet week after week- I am out there hacking away … throwing my clubs… swearing… and picking ball after ball of out every single sand trap on the course!  The only fun part is racing my golf cart back and forth to the half way house to refill my vodka (shots) Oh, and it’s also really fun having my husband giving me pointers!  It’s always either you are swinging too fast or you need to keep your head down.  OH THANK YOU PROFESSIONAL GOLFER FOR YOUR INSIGHT! You really should write a book – you  have some great and very unique suggestions.  And, just wondering with all of your  ideas why you are not a pro yourself?!

I had an epiphany.  I’m not a great athlete.  And when I say that to people, they say “oh, don’t say that- yes you are” as if it’s something that I’d aspire to.  NOPE!  Don’t care at all. What does it mean to be athletic when you are 50 years old?  NOTHING. I mean I can walk, run, lift weights, ride a bike, do pilates and yoga and even play paddle (if someone forced me to with a gun to my head). Why would I ever care about being “athletic”? So, I never going to be great at golf.  Admitting it is step one.

I have other skills.  Like I can make fun of other golfers.  I love the women who are super serious – they are out there to WIN!  Do not fuck around with them.  They are going to take 100 practice shots, line up every putt and then high five their partner as they strut off with another PAR!  According to them… so they didn’t count a few strokes, that’s okay, go ahead and brag the only people that noticed were… well everyone and they are all talking behind your cheating back!

AND ONE MORE THING.  I’m going to keep playing because I really enjoy it (the cocktails, I mean) and at least I have cute golf outfits!  LADIES, it is not a requirement to wear pink and green in some matching golf sets, your skirt does not need to be the ugliest length ever and let me pretend that I never saw the “golf dress”.

MY FAVORITE LOOKS FOR THE LINKS
by the LPGA fashionistas

BRIGHT COLORS:
Forget the pastels – go bright or go home!
Natalie Gulbis and Na Yeon Choin
nataliegulbisloon2images-22

 

 

 

 

SKIRTS:
They can be tricky – watch the length meaning you may need to hem!
Belen Mozo and Morgan Pressel

EVIAN LES BAINS, FRANCE - JULY 24: Morgan Pressel of the USA preparing to play her second shot to the 18th hole that brought her an eagle three finish during the third round of the 2010 Evian Masters on July 24, 2010 in Evian les Bains, France. (Photo by David Cannon/Getty Images)

LPGA+Portraits+c2j85td1MHwl

 

 

 

 

 

 

NAUTICAL
For when you spend a lot of your game in the sand!
Momoko Ueda

Momoko Udea, of Japan, lines up her putt on the fourth green during the final round of the LPGA SBS Open golf tournament at the Turtle Bay Resort, Saturday, Feb. 14, 2009 in Kahuku, Hawaii. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)

 

 

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BASICS
Black and white or all white – you can’t go wrong.
Ai Miyazato, Morgan Pressel, Belen Mozo, Michelle Wie

at the Coates Golf Championship Presented by R+L Carriers - Final Round at the Golden Ocala Golf & Equestrian Club on January 31, 2015 in Ocala, Florida.

w_g_pressel_kh_200

 

 

 

 

LYTHAM ST ANNES, UNITED KINGDOM - JULY 28: Ai Miyazato of Japan on the 2nd fairway during pro-am round before 2009 Ricoh Women's British Open held at Royal Lytham & St Annes on July 28, 2009 in Lytham St Annes, England. (Photo by Wojciech Migda)

 

 

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Golfing – FORE!

Laura

P.S. All golf shoes are ugly BUT – I’m inventing cute ones (with the heel)so stay tuned….

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM!  I’M GOING TO BE DOING SOME GIVEAWAYS SO FOLLOW ME NOW… @laurastyleofficial

 

 

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SOCIAL COMMERCE – like it!

June 4, 2016 | Laura Schoch | Featured

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“I just hate it when people sell stuff on Face Book and Instagram!  UGH  So I’m just blocking all of them.  AND, I’m never watching TV again (or listening to the radio) ALL OF THOSE COMMERCIALS – they are so annoying.  I stopped my magazine and newspaper subscriptions too – just full of ads- hate them all.  I glued my mailbox shut – no more flyers for me.  AND, IF ONE MORE GIRL SCOUT RINGS MY DOORBELL!!!!  I’m actually never going to drive on the highway again – I’ll take back roads just to avoid the billboards- so distracting.”

The people who are annoyed by social commerce are not only living under a rock, they don’t seem to have a JOB (you know that thing that you do to EARN a living and provide for your family).  This is the way people are buying today so this is the way that companies are selling – get used to it.

I love being introduced to things I may like because since I WORK, I don’t have a lot of time to shop.  My last 5 purchases were made either via Face Book or Instagram.  Love them and it was so easy!

Bandolier-iphone-strap-imagesBANDOLIER
cross body with phone case with a pocket in the back for my credit card

IMG_7842ROUND TOWEL COMPANY
Love the design and it has fringe and it’s round – need I say more?


mrf250-l-610x610-bag-purse-boho-tribal-aztec-pompom-beaded+bag-beaded-lovestitch-boho+chic-bohemian-make-make+bag-cosmetics-cosmetic+bag-travel+bag-travel-colorful-beautiful-free+spirit-free+peopleLOVE STITCH
Cosmetic pouch – I wanted a little pom pom action – got it!

lizzie-fortunato-pearl-casablanca-mother-of-pearl-earrings-white-product-0-422634765-normalLIZZIE FORTUNATO EARRINGS
I love her entire collection of jewelry and bags – perfect for summer.

 

Screen shot 2016-06-04 at 10.49.11 AMDESIGNS THAT DONATE
When you purchase from them – you get to pick a charity that they will donate to!

Enjoy!

Cheers.
Laura

Check out my favorite sun products on my beauty page

 

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