I was WRONG. I made a MISTAKE! I’m SORRY! That does not seem to be good enough these days! I’m sorry doesn’t cut it. If you make a MISTAKE you need to pay for it. I’m not talking about criminals. I’m talking about when I was going too fast past a school in town and a Mom standing in front flagged me over to scream at me. I said “you’re right, I was going to fast. Thank you. ” I didn’t say “SORRY” “cause I didn’t hurt anyone and the kids were in school so no harm no foul thanks for the “gentle reminder”. NOPE, that is not good enough – she needed to berate me and POINT HER FINGER at me. So then I just stared at her trying really hard not to say…..OKAY, I will apologize to you if you apologize to the WORLD for your ugly mom hair cut (that needs color too) and your horrid outfit. And P.S. if you are going to point your finger at another adult, please go get manicure instead of yaking away in front of the school all damn day! Oh and if they do brows – what the heck – get those babies plucked – apparently, you have the time!
Did you ever make a mistake? Like pull out in front of someone by accident or bump into someone in a crowd? You might as well have committed felony! “Oh gosh I’m so sorry that stepped on your foot” – “geez watch where you are going!” ever think to say, no problem or that’s okay it was an accident you didn’t purposely step on my foot. Are you one of those people who thinks that people are always trying to fuck you over? I love it when people say “you hurt my feelings” and then want to have some long drama about it. We’re friends right? Cant’t you just assume that if your feeling were hurt, it was by accident. Do you think I’m trying to fuck you over? Cause if so, we really shouldn’t be friends right? Back to people who don’t have enough to do!
I made a mistake. I admit it. I said these exact words “no one will ever stop shopping in stores and just shop online”. I love the art of shopping (I tell my husband that it’s an ART). I like to browse local stores and check our little markets and pop ups. But, it’s happened. Sad but true. I too am shopping more on line but I always try my local peeps first! Here are some of my favorite online shopping spots:
Great basics – all of my great layering items I get here
Cool designer items
Great gift ideas for guys – they are so hard to buy for – UGH
Graduation gift central
MAIN STREET CANDLES
I’m a candle freak – I buy them by the case
SAVE ON CRAFTS
No cheesy (like the name) great party supplies – perfect for weddings
Love supporting artisans – I buy most everything here
PLEASE ALWAYS SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BUSINESSES
(unless their service sucks then you are off the hook and you tried)
P.S. Be sure to check out my balls- the recipe is on my new LS EATS page
I’m not into making New Year’s resolution, not because I don’t have anything I need to work on but it’s just a lot of pressure… I mean my list is pretty long and I don’t know how to pick. I do feel really sorry for people who can’t come up with a new years resolution because they do everything in moderation. “Well I guess I could just have a SIP of wine instead of a whole glass and I could probably have a cookie once a week and I’ll add in another workout – I think I can do 4 a day!”
FIRST, you are boring the shit out of everyone – seriously. Why don’t you resolve to be more fun and not talk about your healthy eating habits and all of your exercise classes – why do you think anyone cares to listen to that? I’d rather have you drone on about your kids and how smart they are and every little detail about the athletic endeavors.
SECOND, how into YOU are YOU? Oh yes you do tend to the children and that’s great but most of your day is spent on YOU. And on top of it all you are the person who “doesn’t have time to do …” Well basically anything that doesn’t revolve around YOU.
Dear super busy perfect person who cannot think of what they can improve on…. A thought comes to mind. Do something for some one else. I’m not talking about feeding or carpooling your kids and I’m not talking about going to every one of their fricking sports games or performances. Side bar- what is wrong with. “Hey Johnny I’m not coming to your game because it’s my friend’s party. Good luck champ.” Blowing off a friend’s party for your kid’s 100th baseball game… again – all about YOU and you loving watching your offspring in the spotlight – it’s just the best thing in the whole world isn’t it?
Want to feel good about something? DO something for someone else. YOU DO HAVE TIME! (and I’m not talking about your name on the back of the black tie ball invite)
Here are some of my favorite things that you can squeeze into your busy schedule:
MORE LOVE LETTERS.com – check it out
DROP BAGELS IN TEACHER LOUNGE– don’t put your name on it
TAKE FOOD TO YOUR LOCAL FOOD PANTRY- it’s so easy
MAKE AN EXTRA BATCH OF DINNER FOR A BUSY SINGLE MOM OR ELDERLY NEIGHBOR – they will love you
SEND A CARD IN THE MAIL- to someone who needs a little pick me up
CONGRATULATE SOMEONE ELSE’S KID– I know – you are so used to blowing sunshine up your own kid’s ass but when you see a kid in the local paper – send the parents a text.
DONATE TO A FRIEND’S CHARITY – If you get an invite/solicitation – support them – If you can, even if it’s $25
CHEERS to 2016!
Check out my other pages:
BEAUTY – a great opportunity for 2016
FAVS – my new favorite pasta alternative
I’m going to be adding a new page called “Laura Eats” (as soon as I can figure out how to do it. I will share my favorite (suzy shortcut) recipes.
I’m a figurer outer – I like to research stuff and figure it out. However there are lots of things that I cannot figure out – I must have some sort of mental block. I don’t remember how to play ANY card games…Euchre- each time it’s as if I’d never played before. Then there’s Bridge – I don’t even understand what duplicates means. I’m that annoying person at the Blackjack table who asks every single deal “ now do I hit on a 16 or not?” I was a Spanish minor… it never sunk in – I can understand a few things like cerveza and margarita but nothing else. Years and years of piano lessons (and nagging from my mother)… I can’t play chop sticks and can’t read music. The worst is keeping score in tennis or paddle and maybe ping- pong (not sure if it’s the same scoring). What is the problem with just using numbers? Like 1, 2, 3? And then there are the people who know what the score is by which side you are serving to- WHAT ? So lets see if the score was a LOVE for you and 15 me (which I think means 2), and then you hit that one and I hit missed that one over there and then you stood up at the net and now I am standing over here and you are standing there… plug that into my little paddle sport super calculator and BAM the score must be add-out which is like giving the person another chance. WHY? Hey, it WAS a tie and NOW it’s not, so I win! Oh there are a lot more things that confuse me but no need to make me look super dumb – wait, how many senators again?
The good news is that I have never HAD to know any of those things but what I do need to know is how to get dressed every single day. So see how smart I am? I have reserved a large part of my brain for something that is actually useful. I do get fashion. I get how to put things together. I recently did a presentation to a group of women and I was surprised at how many said that it was so helpful! I never thought of fashion as confusing but I’m sure others can’t believe that I get lost in my own town (no sense of direction)
So, I thought that I’d put my simple style tips into terms that may be easier to understand.
buy amazing things you love – unique items that have a story
the 3rd piece – the statement jewelry, the fur vest the hat
layer – long tanks, blouses, blazers, vests, cardigans, wraps
dress for your body type – don’t try to do the look that doesn’t work for you
be a copy cat – if you se a look you like in a magazine copy it
if it’s out, it’s out call it – get rid of it
Happy Holidays – my best wishes for a great new year!
P.S. If you are suddenly like oh shit Christmas is in 2 days (then WOW you must be so much busier than the rest of us) Last minute gift ideas that will cover your LAZY ASS:
- The gift of an event – give them a gift card for a (spa day, night out, movie) with you. Give them a stamped return card with 3 dates to choose from!
- A living thing – tree, plant, pet
- A donation to something near to their hearts
- A hand me down- a special piece of art or jewelry that will always remind them of you
So LAX airport just announced that they are building a “celebrities only” terminal. THANK GOD because they should not have to mingle with THEIR CUSTOMERS – yeah that’s right – we are not pesty fans – we are their customers. I’m anxious to see who they determine to be a “celebrity” . I mean there are the obvious and then there are the Snookies, the Honey Boo Boos, the Kelly Picklers and the “real” housewives of…Good Luck there.
I did something really embarasing one time, I WAVED at a celebrity (Anne Hathaway). The minute I did it I regretted it because that’s so not me. When you really step back and look at the way we pedestrians treat celebrities … we scream and try to touch them and ask for autographs and stalk them on social media… it’s extremely weird. What we should really be doing is waving at the guy who invented the cotton gin or the wright brothers. I guarantee that most have us have done way more than these celebrities. Shit I’m going to start waving at all the single moms who are working their asses off for their kids and have no time for themselves – I want YOUR fricking autograph!
We spend a lot of time listening and watching every single detail of celebrities lives. Worse yet, we listen to their ADVICE! Journalists actually ask celebrities what they think about important things like politics and raising children and how to cook and war! Seriously? These are people who make a living pretending to be someone else. What makes them experts on ANYTHING?
While celebrities LOVE their status and all the free clothes and jewelry (they don’t pay for anything) they are always trying to act that they are normal people. BIG news is when a celeb goes to the grocery, takes care of their own kids and goes make up free and shows the real body without touch ups. WOW you are really putting yourself out there that is TOUGH!
WE ARE ALL CELEBRITIES… Treat your self like one before the holidays kick in and we have to make our own Christmas dinner! UGH
My favorite things to do before the holidays:
Declutter the house, get some fresh flowers or blooming plants, find a new candle scent and light it (I love NEST)
Treat yourself to something special for the holidays… new boots, a new bag, a great statement necklace, a new dress. Go get a coffee, turn off your phone and shop. Take sometime to browse a favorite boutique and pick out something that you love and will get a lot of use out of.
Go to the make up counter and freshen up your look – have them do your eyes and pick a new lip color. I love to get a great facial before going into the holidays and b y all means while your nails are drying at the salon get a chair massage. Grab a few perfume samples and wear them around for a few days – put your favorite on your christmas list. Do a 3-7 day “cleanse” – eat clean – protein, fresh fruit and veggies, lots of water.
Unplug. Grab a glass of wine and sit down (in your clean living room) and take sometime to get your lists organized and relax for 30 minutes. When you are organized you are more relaxed. Then have another glass of wine and you can take on the world!
Check out my other pages….
LS DESIGNS – where you can buy my new collection for the holidays
BEAUTY – get the best skin of your life
FAVS – my favorite smelly things